


My lover

by Yoshiaki



Category: Barduil - Fandom
Genre: Boasting Thranduil, Drinking, Embarrassed Bard, M/M, Thranduil being cute, embarrassed bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 15:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13930206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshiaki/pseuds/Yoshiaki
Summary: Thranduil and Thorin argue over a game of my lover is better than yours and it gets really personal. Little do they know that their lovers are watching and Bard feels a little proud and a little embarrassed.





	My lover

**Author's Note:**

> Let's get a little Alpha thing going on shall we? I'm Barduil trash and proud. Just a one-shot of my one of my favourite ships in the fan world.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Hobbit or any of its characters. I also do not make any money out of this so please don't jump me.
> 
> Any spelling mistakes or incorrect grammar may or may not be available but i apologise if there are any.

 

_So back to what I was saying..._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"My lover Bilbo is the smartest in all of Arda!" Thorin yelled to Thranduil over the long table in the dining hall of Dale.

The people of Dale were celebrating the coronation of their newly crowned King, Bard Bowman, the dragonslayer and descendant of Girion. Of course Thranduil was happy for his mortal love but he was a little put off by Thorin's endless boasting over his lover Bilbo. Yes the hobbit is an exceptional creature who saved Thorin's life many times but Thranduil felt that tonight was all about Bard and after a few drinks of wine -Thranduil's words to Bard - he felt the need to express that Bard was a brave man.

Thorin of course after a few drinks of ale (his words to Bilbo), had to say something back. And so here they were, bickering over their lovers.

"My lover Bard is intelligent, brave, strong and considerate," Thranduil stated matter-of-factually, his face serious. Thorin growled in anger and pointed at the great Elven king, his eyes fluttering as the ale threatened to take him down.

"My lover Bilbo is all of those things but a thousand times more and he faced Azgog!" he yelled and Thranduil snorted. "My Bard slayed Smaug and was unscathed," he said smugly and Thorin downed the rest of his ale. "Oh yeah?" he asked, his voice slurring and Thranduil nodded slowly.

Little did they know that they were being watched by their lovers who happened to be sitting away from the table, drinking ale.

"Funny how we fell in love with the biggest royal idiots in all of Arda," Bilbo said and Bard nodded in agreement, "Although I must say, speak for yourself," Bard mused and Bilbo chuckled.

"Oh yeah?" It was the seventh time Thorin was asking Thranduil and the Elvenking challenged back, "Yeah!"

"Bilbo is the greatest lover in bed!" Thorin challenged and the room went quiet. Bilbo's ears went pink and suddenly his ale was finished. This was getting deep.

"Pssshhhh don't tell me that dwarf, my _dragonslayer_ is beyond the greatest in bed. I can never tire of him," Thranduil stated as he stood up and Thorin stood up on the other end. Bard cleared his throat and got up, "Well I think they've had enough. Wouldn't want my kingdom to find out what a freak I am in bed," he said with a light chuckle and Bilbo agreed as he went to Thorin.

"Darlin we have to go to bed now," Bard whispered to Thranduil.

"Bilbo rides me into ecstasy!" Thorin exclaimed and Bilbo grabbed his arm, whispering  that it was enough and they should go to bed, but Thorin was waiting for Thranduil to yell back.

Thranduil smirked and Bard closed his eyes, he hoped that Thranduil wouldn't say what he thought he was going to say.

"My _dragonslayer_ is an alpha. He knows how to knot really good!" Thranduil exclaimed and Bard lifted him bridal-style and awkwardly turned around to bid everyone a goodnight. Thorin's eyes were wide and his mouth was wide open. In fact, everyone's mouths were opened in shock.

"Uhhh good night everyone," Bard said awkwardly and turned to leave. There was loud clatter of cutlery on the floor as Thorin passed out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The next day, Thranduil didn't remember much of last night, his head hurt slightly but Bard made it better with some water and breakfast in bed. Elves only experienced a little hangover so he was fine in no time.

He washed, dressed and went to the dining hall for his meeting with the dwarves. He noticed that there was a group of women hurdled around a seat next to his and when they saw him, they scurried away in a hurry.

Bard was flustered red, eyes looking down at the table. Thranduil came next to him and sat in his seat. The table was quiet and he gave Bard a confused look. "What seems to be going on?" he asked and Bard didn’t answer.

Thranduil looked to the dwarves and the hobbit, silently asking what was wrong but nobody said a single word.

"I demand you tell me what is going on!" he exclaimed as he looked to Thorin and Thorin turned a light shade of pink when he looked to Bard and back to Thranduil. Thranduil was annoyed and when he saw two girls peeking from around the door, he growled in anger. "If you ever dare preposition the king of Dale, you will face my wrath immediately and believe me, it will not be pretty. Spread the word that King Bard is spoken for by the Elvenking," and he looked to Bard.

"That will not be necessary ladies, please leave," Bard said and Thranduil's brows furrowed. "I would like to postpone this meeting to next week, for I do not feel safe and that would disrupt this meeting," he stated and Thranduil huffed out in annoyance.

"Leave us," he hissed and the dwarves left the hall.

"You do not feel safe? And why is that?" Thranduil asked and Bard stood up. "I cannot go anywhere without being followed or attacked," Bard said and when he turned Thranduil gasped. The right side of Bard's neck had scratch marks and finger marks.

Thranduil seethed, "Who did this to you!?"

Bard sighed out, "Well do you remember last night's conversation with Thorin?" he asked and Thranduil thought about it, "Not so much," he said and Bard looked to him, "This is kind of your fault," he said and Thranduil's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"Well I was attacked by my people because of what you said to Thorin last night," Bard explained and Thranduil gave him a confused look, "Bard you are not making any sense. How can what I said to Thorin have your people attack you?" he asked.

"You told them my secret, now they all want a piece of me, asking me to do it to them," Bard said and Thranduil blinked, this was going no where.

"What secret?" he asked. Bard rubbed the back of his neck and opened his mouth to reply when suddenly, a bunch of women, Dain and Dwalin burst through the door pleading at Bard, "Please knot me alpha, please."

Thranduil turned a dark shade of red and looked to Bard with a regretful look.

"I'm sorry _meleth-nin_."

**EnD**

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I just had to have Dwalin and Dain Ironfoot as the biggest gays in Arda. Bard is irresistible so yeah suck it up, soak it in and swallow. (Walks away proudly after posting). Criticism is welcome as always and a little kudos ain't hurt nobody. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! You are appreciated. - Yoshiaki


End file.
